Wearing MY Heart ON MY Sleeve

So I decided that WHO EVER DECIDED THAT WEARING YOUR HEART ON YOU SLEEVE was the phrase that meant you are putting yourself out there must have not known what that meant. So I had two really good experiences that I learned a lot from. The first dealt with a boy in my ward and the second with my best friend. I learned that first of all hearts NEVER break in equal places...someone ALWAYS gets hurt more than someone else! Luckly I was the one that got to experience this pain from both of these wonderful men. I realize that I was in a slump for a long time, but I now also realize that I gave them both my all. They each have a piece of my heart that I will NEVER get back. But I don't regret it in anyway! They are and were great guys that had their heads on straight...they KNEW what they wanted and had a plan! I put my whole heart out there, I was very hesitant with the first one in my ward, but now as I look back I realize that I loved him... I thought he was my knight in shining armor, come to save me from all the bad in this world. But timing just wasn't right for us and it hurt me. And the second was one that I dreamed of for YEARS! And I had never felt the way I did when I was with him...everything was comfortable and just worked. So I put my heart out there and they took a good chunk of it with them when they left. I'm not sure I will ever get it back, but right now I don't care. I know that I did my best and that I have NO REGRETS! They may have my heart, and I may have thrown it to the dogs, but I know that I can grow and replace that part of my heart, because I've done it before.

For the longest time I remember thinking I want that piece of my heart back...give it back to me. But now i realize that the reason things didn't work out was because I'm not suppose to be with them. I am suppose to go on a mission and put my whole heart into that...so i have someone else having a hold on my heart. So I wore my heart on my sleeve, I took the dance...and got shut down. BUT NOW I KNOW with my whole heart (even the missing parts) that I am suppose to go on a mission. And that things could have been amazing if they were suppose to happen. But I know that someday I will meet a boy who will be willing to give me his whole heart (even the parts that have grown back) and tell me that he doesn't want to kiss anyone but me for the rest of his life. And that is what I want...I want my TRUE knight in shining armor to come and sweep me off my feet and be the ONE and ONLY ONE in my life. But for now...that knight in shining armor is a black name tag with the name Sister Platt printed on it. And until I take that name tag off in over a year and a half that knight will have my heart...and my whole HEART! I'm putting it on my sleeve (or my blouse) and I'm not going to let ANYONE else take it.