One of the most important, if not the most important part of a relationship is communication. If you are not able to communicate with your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, and just people in general. It is important to be able to not only tell how you feel, but also to be able to listen, and ask the right questions. I am just like any other girl in that I love to talk, and can for hours on end. I find that it is really important for me to find a spouse that I feel that i can tell anything too and they will treat me just the same no matter what. I have had plenty of conversations where I was the only one talking, because the other person would not open up. I find it very attractive when someone is able to trust me and tell me things that they would not tell just anyone. For a long time I wanted to go into counseling, because i really enjoyed listening to people. It does not matter what is going on, I just really enjoy that people trust me and want to tell me about their day. I really enjoy listening to what people have to say, and I really enjoy when people will also listen to what I have to say. When someone is interested in what you have to say it makes whatever you are telling them seem like it is the most important thing to them.
When looking at this in a marriage, it is important to be able to go to your spouse with any problem that you might have. There will be times when you fight, but you cannot and must not go to your parents. This can cause some problems with your spouse and your parents. If there is something wrong, you need to make sure that you are cooled off and that you approach your spouse in a rational way. You do not want to go into any discussion already mad, because this will make the problem worse. Most of the time if there is emotion that is not positive it will probably not help the situation. When confronting problems you should ask yourself these three questions: 1. When discussing differences do we stay focused on resolving the problem? 2.Do we manage our emotions during conflict? 3. Do we maintain respect and concern for one another during an argument? This way you can see if you are just trying to win an argument, or if you have a "me" vs. "you" outlook at your problem. You need to face them together and realize that you are both going to have different opinions.Your job is to make sure that you look at both opinions and then from there you both decide what would best for the specific problem.
