CaN yOu HaVe WiThDrAwAlS fRoM nOt SeEiNg SoMeOnE???

So for the past couple of week I have been able to go on numerous dates...(and let me be the first to say that they were AMAZING DATES!!!!) At first I was not really interested in either of the two boys that were asking me out, but I figured that i was at least intrigued by them... So I figured that they deserved multiple chances. The first is a boy named Lane who is in my ward and asked me to meet him for ice cream with him and his camp kids. (He is a counselor for the music camps at BYU) This was really fun, although it did not really allow us to get to know each other very well. So i decided that he was at least interesting enough and kind enough that he deserved a second date. The second boys name is Adam...and we met through a mutual friend Melissa. The first time we met Melissa and I were out catching up after not seeing each other for a couple of months...so we were having ice cream when she gets a call from Adam who decides to come and join us with a couple of his friends. And pretty much everything that came out of his mouth that night was a lie... It was actually kinda funny. But then we met again when melissa was getting ready to leave to go back to Texas for the rest of the summer... We all met up for lunch and here is where we really started to hit things off...numbers were exchanged and to tell you the truth I didn't think that anything was going to happen. Melissa wanted us to hang out and so it was done to kinda please her (at least that is what I thought...). So I got a call from Adam the next day asking if I wanted to do something...only to get a text from Lane about five minutes later asking if I was busy that night. So I had to turn Lane down because I had just said yes to Adam. But we end up going on a marathon date...it started with dinner at a Thai place and then I was forced to choose if we wanted to go putt-putt golfing or to watch a movie. Either of which I was fine with, but of course I was forced to choose. So after picking the left hand (because I could not make up my mind...Adam had me choose which hand to decide what we were going to do.) we end up deciding to go to a movie. At this point in time it was like 8:30 and of course no movies were showing till 10pm so Adam being the sweetheart that he is said that we could go golfing first and then go to a movie...which i said we didn't have to unless he wanted to (i felt bad...i didn't want to use this kid, I mean i wasn't sure if I was interested and here he is taking me on like three dates in one night!!) So we head off to Trafalga (dating central here in Provo/Orem area). And then after to Night at the Museum Battle at the Smithsonian which was really good if I say so myself...

So that is the introduction to both boys that I have been going on dates with for about 3 weeks...

So Lane and I have been on like three dates, one of which includes hiking the BEAUTIFUL Stewart Falls. A super easy hike with AMAZING rewards! I highly recommend it if you have a couple of hours in Utah County that you need to kill. Totally worth it!!! And then after we headed to Five Guys Burger and Fries...which is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING if I do say so myself. But I found that I'm not really interested in him...and that could be because of Adam, but I'm not actually sure...

So Adam and I have been doing things together about everyday since...except when I ditch out on him to go out with Lane or someone else. But about a week and a half after being with him everyday I got home and realized that I was starting to fall for Adam. And for a while it kinda scared me...I didn't know what to do. But we still when out every night and did things and my liking him seemed to get bigger...if that even makes since. Well I found out like a week and a half ago that he was suppose to leave on Sunday the 12 of July to go back home to New Mexico. And I kinda got sad...i mean it is just my luck that when I start liking someone that they will just up and leave the state! But i figured that I would just take it for what it is worth and spend time with him while I have him!

But he left yesterday with a promise to call me while he is gone, and a "maybe we'll do something in the fall" (meaning if I wasn't dating anyone that we would do something...) And now I find myself this morning missing seeing him. I mean you can't go from seeing someone everyday to not seeing them without missing them and having withdrawals... So as lame as it is I kinda think that I fell harder than I expected to fall with him. But what can you expect, your heart and your mind rarely agree and go along with the same plan. So i'm left with my heart on my sleeve knowing that the person that it craves to be around is in New Mexico...and wondering if he even misses seeing me. I hope that he at least thinks randomly of me and misses me... WOW I don't know how this just turned into a dumping...but it did. Sorry about that...

ANYWAYS, other than that life is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! I mean I love where I am right now and everything that has been going on. It is crazy how the Lord blesses my life and just lets me know that he cares and is there! So with that I say I LOVE YOU and I hope everything is going well in your life!!!

The Things I'm Grateful for...

1. My amazing FaMiLy!!!

2. FrIeNdS that care enough to check up on me

3. The SuN!

4. FlOwErS

5. SpRiNg

6. SeAsOnS

7. AwKwArD situations

8. FiReWoRks

9. TuRtLeS

10. TrIaLs that change my life

11. FrIeNdShIpS that last through AnYtHiNg

12. The ability to RuN!!!!

13. LaUgHiNg

14. LeArNiNg to LoVe

15. MoUnTaInS

16. The color YeLlOw

17. PlAnEs that allow my family to come and see me

18. My GrAnDpArEnTs

19. The ability to have a pLaN

20. The ability to cHaNgE my pLaN

21. sHoWeRs

22. cLeAn RoOmMaTeS

23. The movie pRiDe and pReJuDiCe

24. CeLl pHoNeS...so I can talk to my family!

25. The aBiLiTy to TrUsT

26. My TeStImOnY

27. My SaViOr

28. The song BoUnCe by The CaB 

29. aNiMaLs

30. TrUsTiNg someone and having them sTaY in my LiFe

31. LeArNiNg something NeW!

32. The 4th of JuLy

33. Going to GrAnDmA's HoUsE

34. LeArNiNg from my mIsTaKes

35. TuLiPs

36. FrIeNdS getting MaRrIeD

37. CaLlIe LiLiEs

38. RuNnInG in the RaIn

39. CoUnTrY MuSiC

40. JoHn MaYeR

41. My BeSt FrIeNdS

42. GrEeN LaWnS

43. Going on a DaTe with SoMeOnE I LiKe

44. cHeEsE

45. IcE CrEaM

46. VoLlEyBaLl

47. PeAnUt BuTtEr wItH EvErYtHiNg!!!!!

48. Eating cOoKiE DoUgH

49. The fEeLiNg once your DoNe RuNnInG

50. PaInTiNg

51. SnOw

52. RaScAl fLaTtS

53. RaInBoWs

54. PlAyInG the HaRp

55. pLaYiNg TeNnIs

56. 4-wHeElInG

57. CaTcHiNg the ClOcK at 11:11

58. Having LiGhTbuLbS!

59. WeArInG bLuE...cause it makes my EyEs PoP

60. GoInG To LuNcH with FrIeNdS

LOVIN LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!!!

So my goal to run a marathon might be crushed as of right now...cause I messed up my knee running 13 miles on monday. But if all else fails then i'll just run a half marathon. So besides sitting in my apartment all day because I have to rest my knee life has been pretty boring. But that 13 miles on monday was probably the worst 13 EVER!!! I ran on the Provo River Parkway trail, which was ABSOLUTELY beautiful, I ended up with 32 mosquito bites on my upper back and arms...not to count the two on my face and the five on my legs...and the two more I just found on my lower back. I've decided that even though it is in the shade and cool, you get eaten ALIVE!!! So I have been itching like CRAZY!!! But I decided that this week NOTHING was going to get me down, so I'm actually extremely happy... It's been a while since i've really enjoyed who I am...and FINALLY I feel that the brittany we all know is back:) :) YAY!!! So basically i've just been resting my knee and trying not to itch myself...but I figured that i would put some pictures up from when I was in COLORADO!!! And some from this summer so far!!!

My dad had his birthday while I was home!! YAY for

dad's and birthday's!!!

Haha I LOVE This picture of the kids...I think it is REALLY funny!

Hallie turned 17 while I was there...I can't believe she is getting so old!

My visit to see Lucy and Katie! Cal came with...THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!!! I LOVE IT!

This is me and the kids...we had fun the sunday night before I left taking a bunch of different pictures... I love this one cause Cal is punching me!

This is Tiff, me and Cal!

One good one!!

Not so sure what is going on in this picture...but I liked it!!!

I love the random foot in this one!

Brandi and I eating ZUBS...we LOVE THAT PLACE:)

And last one random picture of me!!

WoW...wHaT a CrAzY rEaLiZaTiOn!!!!!

So this year has been CRAZY!!!! And I'm not going to lie, I'm SUPER excited at the fact that winter semester is OVER!!! It is SO nice to be able to hang out with friends without having to STRESS about some homework or something that I have to do...

So here is the blonde part of me coming out...I nanny for this family (which is SOOOO cute) and I was taking some picture with the kids, because I think they are SO cute. And I was looking at them, and all of a sudden I had this realization...I know that this realization is going to sound crazy and almost stupid but I realized that I'm a cute girl. I mean people say that, but for one of the first times in my life I actually believe it. I just needed to find out for myself, I told my mother my new found realization and she just laughed at me. And said she was glad that I finally realized this. I could not help but laugh at the fact that I finally realized that I'm pretty. I guess I just thought that people would say that just to be nice...but I finally know that it is not just to be nice, but it is also true!!! Ok, enough of my stupid realization and on to the rest of my life...

So I still have yet to find a cute guy that I am really interested in that is not dating someone or married... But as one of my goals this year to be nice to everyone, even the guys that show they are interested and I'm not... I have really been working on being nice and just myself to them. So part of this goal is that every guy gets a chance...(which was happening, but I still found myself doing somethings that were not extremely nice in order to let them know that I was not interested...) So the date this week that was to put it positive...interesting. I got asked out by this boy who's name is Bryan...well i get a text on Wednesday night and it was like hey what are you doing tomorrow? And I already had a tennis date set with one of my friends at 5:30...so I said that that was the only thing that I had going. And then he asked me through a text if I would like to get dinner...(-1 point) so I'm sitting here thinking that we must just be friends, because if it were anything else, he would have called. So I agreed that if I finished tennis at a decent hour that dinner would be good. So I get a call while I'm playing tennis...but I didn't answer cause I was playing. But it was him asking if dinner was a go...so I called him back after I was done playing tennis and said that I just needed to shower and then we could head off. So I got ready and I was waiting for him to come and pick me up...cause I mean he did invite me to go to dinner with him...thus my though process was that he would pick me up. Well I get a call five minutes after the time we set, and he was like are you ready? And of course i was, so I was like yes. And he said well I'm working on my bike... (so I'm sitting there thinking, does that mean your not ready? Or you want me to come and meet you in the parking lot?). So I was like well do you want me to meet you in the parking lot? And he was like ya that will work. So I headed over toward his apartment to meet him in the parking lot (up to -2). And so I meet him and we walk over to his car and I open my own door...(normally this would not be negative points, but he's going down fast so still -2). He then asks me where I would like to go, and having NO opinion towards the matter cause I don't want to go anyways I said that i did not care. So we sat in the car to 15 minutes waiting to decided where to go. When we finally decided on a place for dinner it was EXTREMELY late and thus most dinner places were closed. Thus we went for ice cream. Here he told me that he liked me and wanted to seriously date me. (WHAT THE HECK? I HAVE ONLY TALKED TO THIS BOY FOR LIKE AN HOUR OR TWO...AND YOU WANT TO SERIOUSLY DATE ME?!?!?!?!?!) So after explaining why he want to date me...which included that i was tall, attractive, played the harp, had a good personality, and was a fun person...i decided that we were just best as friends (and i used the term friends VERY loosely here.) He then precedes to tell me how his roommate said that if he didn't try and kiss me tonight that it would be a disgrace to all mankind. And that saying that was his way of trying....which I thanked him for but then he said the dates not over yet...and I'm thinking that is what you think...but there is NO WAY you are getting close to me with those lips let a lone kissing me.

After that awkward situation he then tells me how he wants to go to Vegas, and I was like ya totally go...it is a WAY fun place!!! And he was like you want to go with? And inside my head I was thinking NOOOOOOOO!!!!! But because I was trying to be nice I ended up saying not tonight... And then he preceded to tell me that our trip would go like this...

I would sleep the whole way there tonight (because I told him that I sleep A LOT...and through most movies). And he would be all hyped up on energy drinks driving, watching me sleep. ( I KNOW SUPER AWKWARD!!!!! If I hadn't cut a certain word from my vocabulary ( creepy) I would have used it instead of awkward. He then preceded to tell me that it would not be awkward if I had said that I wanted to date him. To which I replied that no matter WHO it was that considering the amount of time that we had known each other that it would be awkward.

After this we went to Walmart...I know great date huh? And we picked up supplies for his camping trip...and this is where I learned that he is rude and does not care about other people and the different things that you should do to respect people and stores. Something dropped on the ground so of course i picked it up and put it back on the shelf...when he decided that it would be funny to knock it down again. And say that it is someones job to pick it up...I know SUPER RUDE!!!! I mean it may be their job, but we should not make it worst for them! So we FINALLY LEAVE Walmart and are heading back home. And on the ride home he tells me that he could see me going home with him to meet his family...and that because of my personality that they would all wonder when i was going to propose. (And again I'm thinking OK first of all I would NEVER GO HOME WITH YOU...and second you don't know my personality! And third there is NO way I would marry you!) And then he preceded to say that that would be awkward cause we were just friends for now...I'm over there thinking FOR NOW???? How about we just be acquaintances? Anyways we get home and I give him a hug good bye and open the door as fast as I could and then say thanks and close it. It was record time if I do say so myself....

So I figured that he would get the hint and let me be alone, but the next Monday I get a call from him (which i missed on accident...although i probably would not have picked up anyways). And he was like hey i saw you taking some stuff from your car and I wondered how your weekend was...and I was thinking, ok you should have come over and helped if you were a real friend and second there is NO way I'm calling you back. So after a week of calls and texts i finally decided that this is not the way a friend acts and that I HAD to do something...So i sent him a polite text back saying "I'm flattered that you want to develop a relationship, but I'm really not interested in pursuing the same kind of relationship that you are. I've enjoyed our acquaintanceship but that is where i want to keep it is at an acquaintanceship." I know I'm a heart breaker...but I didn't want to lead him on in anyway shape or form. So I acquaintanceshiped him...but i think that it will be for the best. I mean he is not really a guy that i really want to be friends with anyways, so it was not that big of a loss.

That was my exciting week of realizations and dates:) hopefully I'll get a good one soon...i kinda get tired of the awkward dates that I go on, but at least I'm dating so i should not complain!

A Weekend Away!

So for a weekend away from the world, me and my best friend Brandi went to vegas and then to California...It was AMAZINGLY fun to just get some girl time and spend time with someone I LOVE SO much. But i'll add some pics cause those are always fun!

This is in Vegas, in front of the Stratosphere. It was kind of cold, but nothing compared to the snow we were getting in Utah...

This is us in front of Caesars Palace. The Place was BEAUTIFUL and amazingly big!

This is Circus Circus, this is were we had dinner, apparently you are not suppose to be able to go through the casino's if your not 21, but we did not have a problem with getting in.

This is us at the San Diego Zoo...it was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! We actually ran through the whole thing, if you can believe it...

So this is me and a turtle...I LOVE turtles, they seriously are my favorite!

This is us at the polar bear statue...WE LOVE ANIMALS!

This is us and an elephant...not a real one, a carved one...

The BEAUTIFUL San Diego Temple...I seriously LOVE this temple!

This is the beach we went to...there seriously was a 1,o00 steps...it killed my legs

YAY the beach! I love it...even though the water was REALLY COLD!

This is us LOVING the BEACH!

This is us after the beach going to church...we changed there, but had to walk in in pants and swimsuits!

I also got to try IN-N-OUT burger for the first time in my life, it was AMAZING!

That is the gist of my VACATION, but it was AMAZING! I loved it, and had a hard time coming back to Utah and all the snow!

LiFe As We KnOw iT!

So lets see besides going through three callings in the past couple of months I am finally the second counselor in the Relief Society. I mean talk about intimidating...first I was a gospel doctrine teacher, and now a counselor? But I know that it will be for the best and that this is where I am suppose to be right now! My goal is to just make people feel wanted and needed. I think that this is the most important thing that I can do to have people feel that they are needed and wanted. But I can't describe the overwhelming feelings that i have been feeling lately. I just want to spend a little bit of time and express my feelings of gratitude for my Savior. This year there has been times when I have never felt so alone and I know that he will never leave me alone. I will always have his companionship to be with me! What a comforting feeling to know that you always have someone to turn to. I also have never in my life felt SO inadequate in doing something, but it is just a reminder that even though I sometimes feel like there are so many people in the world, I know that i am still watched over and love not only by those here on earth, but also by my Heavenly Parents. And that love is one that will not ever dwindle. They will love me for what I do, and what I don't! They are just like my real family, they will watch over me and love me for the decisions that I make in my life. I also know that there is a loving Father that listens to my prayers. I know that sometimes they are not what they should be, and that it is more of just a check off my list, but I know that he does listen no matter what I say and I know that he cares and will answer what I ask for! After all I am his daughter and he loves me for that...

Anyways enough of that, on to the good stuff. So lets see what I have I been up to lately? I have pretty much just been up to school and trying to get good grades (Which if I do say so myself is going VERY well...) I also have been trying to make a new friend everyday in one of my classes. This is going really well, i am able to not only expand my friends, but also help me to realize what a friend actually is. They are someone who will be there through all the crap that I make them go through, and they will never get upset about it. They are someone who will be there when i need someone to cry on. They are someone who puts up with my horrible attitudes...even when i don't want to be around me!

So I recently realized that I have been a really horrid person lately and not happy with the world. I mean instead of looking at the world and LOVING my life I hated things that were going on. I would let little things bother me and make me upset. I finally realized that I didn't even want to spend time with myself...and have since come back to the original Brittany that we all know. YAY! This is something that my brother, Michael and Brandi are glad to have back. But I have since decided to not EVER let something get to me that bad. I mean I totally was not me...I was WAY to focused on the things that are not important, like boys (don't get me wrong, they are important, but they should not rule your life...I learned this the hard way). Now I am able to focus on things that are sincerely important to me and I realize that I have changed, and not for the better... So some new goals are to go and serve once a week and also to try and attend the temple if not once a week, then every other week!

Until the next post, thanks for everything and your support! I LOVE YOU with all my heart! LOVES!

The Lord's Hand in the Simple Life of A College Student

So when I first got back to Utah I was super excited to see the guy that I had been dating for the past two months only to find out that he had a different plan for life that did not involve me. At least not in a dating since... After a weekend of crying and a couple cartons of ice cream i learned SO much! (I know how sad is it that I spent one of my weekends crying over some boy that found another girl, but then I started to see a lot in my life that I did not see before.)

I mean when this happened I had friends all around me that were willing to drop any plans that they had to comfort the destressed Brittany. One came over every night and tried to keep my mind off it, another one came over and played in the snow with me. And still another one came and made me breakfast...can you be more blessed than that? I realized that I was still loved even though I felt rejected... I mean the next week was hard, but on Tuesday Elder Holland came to BYU and spoke. Now i know that I should not have favorites, but he is SERIOUSLY one of my favorites, after all he told me I was cute and admirable. Anyways he gave a talk about transitions and the past and the future. And i know that this talk was written for me! I mean EVERY word that was said ment something to me, it was amazing. His big point was to forgive myself, which i really needed to do, cause i was blaming myself for everything that was going on. I kept on thinking that if I had only changed or done something different, that we would still be together.

But now I realize that that is a STUPID thing to think...i mean he should like me for who i am and what I do. And it was really good to hear it from someone that i consider someone my hero. So i realized that I needed to move on and to forgive myself and just make new friends. SO that is one of Brittany's new goals this semester...to make a bunch of friends and just become good friends with everyone! Goal number two is to become a better communicator and to just say what I mean...so now i have to work on that one! Third I have decided that I am going to run a marathon this year...I know super crazy, but I know that it will GREAT for me!

But I have been thinking about the Lord's hand in my life and how he sends people into my life when i need them the most. And I realize that sometimes i have to give them up, but someone will come along that I need! And they will help me though what i need the most and you know, the guy that sticks around through it all will be the one that i marry. But that is a while down the road, after all i am only 19... But i know that Heavenly Father LOVES me and watches my daily walk cause he influences every step that i take! So i know that as long as I am doing what he wants, that i will be where he needs me the most! Anyways that was just a bit into my life and the AMAZING experiences that I have already had this year!